Setting: An Udupi restaurant in Bombay. Afternoon. The phone on the bill-counter rings. Himesh Reshamiya croons from 3 FM sets in and around the place. The owner of the restaurant, a fat, dark, murderous looking man of Dravidian descent answers the phone.
Fat Dravidian: Hullo
Morpheus: I need to speak with Raju.
Fat Dravidian:Hyan?
Morpheus: Raju. I need to speak to him. They are coming for him.
Fat Dravidian: Raju... phone. Who is this?
Morpheus: Morpheus
Fat Dravidian: Murphy ka phone hai. Thambi - table ko water de
Raju walks toward the phone. He is a striking young man - not much older than 18. He is wearing a grey shirt and grey shorts & a grey topi. His eyes shine with radiance, but this could be because he has been cutting green chilli in the kitchen.
Raju - Hello?
Morpheus - Hello Raju. Do you know who this is?
Raju - Hello? Mr. Murphy?
Morpheus - Raju - you are the ONE.
Raju - Hello? Theek theek batao saab. No English. Hindi and Bhojpuri only speaking.
Morpheus - Fuck. (then talking away from the phone) Link - can you give me a quick patch on learning Hindi?
Link - Am on it Sir. May I ask why you ask Sir?
Morpheus - The ONE doesn't know English. He knows Hindi and Bojpur.
Link - Sir - I have a patch called Rapidex English Speaking Course. Should I burn it in?
Morpheus - And how would that help Link? I want to learn Hindi, not English. If we are to overcome the machines, I need you to be alert at all times Link.
Link - Yes Morpeus. The search for a Hindi learning patch is negative sir. Should I run a search for the other language?
Raju - Hello?
Dravidian - Gaand marra raha hai kya phone pe?
Raju - Patta nahin kaun hai. Mujhe lagta hai credit card waale hain.
Morphues - Raju - are you there?
Raju - Yes. Aapka credit card nahin chahiye.
Morpheus - Raju, listen to me very carefully. The fate of the world rests on your shoulders.
Raju - No. Don't want. Nahni chahiye.
Morpheus - Fuck! Stupid Indian Son Of A Bitch!!!
Link - Sir, we do have the NEXT ONE. Name's Anderson.
Morpheus - Fine. (click.... hangs up)
Raju - Hello? You are son of bitch madarchod... (hangs up and turns to leave, when the phone rings again. He picks up, pissed as hell)
Smith - Mr. Rajendra. You have something of importance that belongs to us.
Raju - Gaand mara bhenchod. Ek baar bola credit card nahin chahiye.
Smith - I do not understand. Are you or are you not Rajendra Kumar Jha?
Raju - Haan bhosadike .... mein he hoon. Kal raath ko tere ma ko Kandivali station ke bahar choda tha.
Smith - Hmmm.... (hangs up)
Raju - Dimag kharaab kar diya.
(to be continued)
(In part 2, Smith tells big Boss The Architect to check on Raju. Will the Architect be able to bridge the language gap? Or will he be mistaken for a credit card salesman? Watch this space to find out.)
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